Much of my work is focussed on supporting you to build restorative systems in your organisation or working group. However many people come to me with a conflict happening and need some immediate support before they can even begin to make agreement about how to deal with conflict in the future.
If this is the situation you find yourself in, this is what I can offer you:
Supported conversation
This is another word for mediation but it could also look like one of your regular work meetings, except I am there to support people to hear each other. I will probably suggest that we have pre-meeting conversations with all parties so everyone has the chance to be heard beforehand and that everyone knows the strategies I will use in order to create connection when in the meeting. The preparation is key.
Time requirements:
30 min pre meeting conversations with all parties who are involved in the conflict. If this is a lot of people, it's possible to have the pre-meeting conversations in small groups of people who are broadly sharing the same perspective.
3 hours for the supported conversation
Time for post-meeting support (to be agreed)
Click here for more explanation of each part of the process
Restorative Circle
I normally don't do Restorative Circles outside of a restorative system. However, if a group is clearly interested in building a restorative system, then I will consider hosting a circle with them, as the experience of hosting a conflict in such a way, really supports people's willingness to spend time making agreements about how to respond more effectively to conflict.
Time requirements:
30 min pre-circles with all parties who are involved in the conflict. If this is a lot of people, it's possible to have the pre-circles in small groups of people who are broadly sharing the same perspective.
3 hours for the Restorative Circle
Post-circle ( 1-3 hours)
Time for post-circle support (to be agreed)
What's the difference between a Restorative Circle and a Supported Conversation
A supported conversation and a Restorative Circle are very similar in structure, with a Restorative Circle having a slightly more structured approach. In a Restorative Circle, the facilitator is part of the community and is a role that anyone in the community can do. Obviously, if you are bringing me in from the outside to hold a conversation, I am not part of your community, hence the distinction between this and a Supported Conversation. I would describe both Restorative Circles and Supported Conversations as Restorative Processes.
Conflict coaching
I also support individuals or groups with conflicts they are facing in which they do the work of embracing the conflict and I coach them in ways of doing this.
Allowing time for your conflicts gives you an opportunity to create the outcomes that you are going to live with in your shared venture.
A Restorative Process is:
an opportunity to restore enough connection and willingness so you can find a solution that works for your group or team.
An opportunity to be heard on harm and damage received and for this to be acknowledged and witnessed in the group
An opportunity to develop responsibility for what has happened
An opportunity to create the outcome that you are all going to live with.
An opportunity to move slowly from what’s disputed to next steps for your group
A Restorative Process is not:
similar to a legal process in which the aim is to find culpability.
