A=Allow and accept what you are hearing and how it is being expressed (unless you really can’t, see below). B= Boundaries. Use a Time Boundary. Use reflecting back Feelings and Needs as a structure. C=Connection. Use your Resonant Warmth and Generosity so that the other person really feels your humanity radiating towards them. Empathy is not mechanical. ABC of Empathic Listening (more detailed guidelines) A=Allow and accept what you are hearing and how it is being expressed. If someone is stuck, you are not trying to ‘unstick’ them. Try and connect to the relief of not trying to fix anyone. A is for Acceptance, not for Action (although Action comes, and there may be times when you cannot ‘accept’ what you are hearing) B= Boundaries. Empathic listening is a very boundaried practice.
C=Connection. Use your Resonant Warmth and Generosity so that the other person really feels your humanity radiating towards them. Empathy is not mechanical. If you can’t be in this resonant space of warmth and generosity. Stop, acknowledge you don’t have capacity. Go and do something lovely for yourself. Remember, when people are offloading with a lot of energy, this is because they have a very deep, strong need to be heard on something. This need may be chronic and urgent.
3 Comments
Hana
7/20/2021 01:42:44 am
Very helpful and to the point. Thanks
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Authorby Ceri Buckmaster Archives
February 2023
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